What’s with all the bad boys in mainstream media?
What’s with the bad boys? I’ve actually thought a lot about “Bad Boy” characters in general (aggressive, breaks the rules, impulsive, objectively psychopathic).
I don’t think we need to look further than the high sales of Fifty Shades of Grey and it’s many many MANY clones to know that readers just like bad boys (and if internet crybabies are to be believed, the girls they like always go after jerks, I guess). I like to think we’re smart enough to know that these are just fantasies, and of course you wouldn’t really want a partner like that in the books, but I think simply shouting “Don’t write books that glorify abuse!” isn’t going to stop writers from writing these stories and readers from reading them.
Now, I’m not condoning this, and my goal for this story is to feature a healthy, happy relationship, but I think it’s important to understand WHY readers might be attracted to books with very bad implications rather than lecture about why these are bad lessons. People are not dumb. They know it’s just a fantasy. It’s a guilty pleasure. The end.
Caveman Logic
Sometimes when people confuse me, I like to think of the stuff they do through a “caveman” perspective. Why would a cavegirl want a caveboy like this? Well, it’s because there’s big scary beasts and bad cavemen out there that want to eat you and your babies. Cavegirl wants someone who will fight off these monsters, and have babies that will grow up strong enough to survive said scary beasts. Nothing wrong with that.
I guess you could argue that bad cavemen just club cavewomen in the head and haul them away, but we have more evidence of art created by cavemen than clubs and skull fractures. Plus, my eyes tend to roll back into my brain whenever I hear someone try to say that women have always been weak and pathetic victims throughout history.
Bad Boys vs. Heroes
But then, I have to wonder: Wait… do we REALLY want bad boys? Or do we want heroes?
Heroes historically have been painted and sculpted as masculine, tough, competent fighters and warriors- but also have a sense of tenderness and kindness when they’re not out punching bad guys. When I was living in Italy, I remember seeing this statue (Silenus holding Dionysos), and this is, without a doubt, a very masculine, ideal man lovingly and gently holding a little baby.
Even so, there’s a feeling that if you were a real bastard looking for a fight, you would probably give this guy a pass because he will punch you into the ground- and give you bonus punches simply out of the principle of as a father figure protecting his child.
Or a more modern example:
I think this is why you guys really seem to like my orc character, Allan, he’s prone to fits of rage, but a loving husband and a doting father- and a good mentor to the protagonist.
And I think, when it comes right down to it, that’s what we really want. I think lots of young women are growing up with daddy issues and romanticize about “fixing” a terrible man into a good one, but what we really want is a strong, confident, capable man AND someone who treats us well- it shouldn’t have to be one or the other.
Ha! I did it! I wrote my half baked opinion on masculine men without saying the word, “toxic masculinity!”… dammit.
